So, as you may have heard, there's another Goosebumps series out there. Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in. Haha, just like the Godfather Part III, it's a reference! But we mustn't dwell.
No, not today. We can't. Not on Blogger Beware Update Day! All Horror. Land books are bisected, with a main storyline running around ninety pages and a second shorter storyline featuring the same characters in a concurrent and continuing storyline involving the world's least- likely theme park this side of Emily's Reasons Why Not. Land, Horror. Land. For someone who tries to forget these books as quickly as possible, often during reading, the idea of having to keep up with continuity is the first scary impulse borne of the series. REVENGE OF THE LIVING DUMMYLet's start with the obvious problem: If the female victims of Slappy's tape loop- esque torments change from book to book, who specifically is he getting revenge on?
Ask a vertical-transportation-industry professional to recall an episode of an elevator in free fall—the cab plummeting in the shaftway, frayed rope ends trailing.
RL Stine starts things out in medias grave with gal pals Britney and Molly fending off wild raccoons whilst digging up a plot in a cemetery. Oh Stine, you've been away for a decade, but your perceptive insight into the normal activities of preteens has remained intact. After introducing this ringtailed excitement, Britney drops a To Be Coontinued on us and takes the reader back two weeks to explain how the pair ended up in their graveyard predicament. The book then starts proper with the only thing more exciting than swarming raccoons in a graveyard: Anything. Alleged dramatic conflict occurs with the revelation that Britney's been bumped up to the sewing room in order to make room for her visiting cousin, Ethan. In the process of exaggerating how lame Ethan is, Britney reveals her and Molly's love of lists. RL Stine: Closet Dave Eggers fan?
Or, Dave Eggers: Closet RL Stine Fan? It's clear we're in Next Generation territory when Britney starts talking on her cell phone and doesn't describe it as being a Zack Morris style device the size of a five pound block of cheese. However, what teen uses their phone as a phone? Swing and a miss, Stine. Britney is whining about the Ethanding living situation to Molly and like a good friend she pretends to care. Britney and Molly are totes LYLAS to the point that everyone thinks they're literally S's, so it's a familial duty.
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Unfortunately, despite how much family matters, their phone call is cut short by Britney's clumsy mom dropping something in the background and loudly opining, "Did I do that?" Britney tries to help her mom clean up but she just pinches her cheeks and reminders her daughter to be nice to Ethan, since his parents are pretty much abandoning him. Britney's mom is described as wearing "tight designer jeans," which goes a long way towards distancing this from the faux- Kitchen Sink realism direction all the dour bad family details were heading (Molly's parents have split as well). Britney has had too many run- ins with Ethan to be optimistic, especially since the last time he visited he erased her term paper. In Ethan's defense, how could he delete something that's never ever existed (a twelve- year- old's term paper)?
Right on cue, Ethan shows up with everyone's* favorite dummy, Slappy, or as Ethan calls him, Mr. Badboy. Mr. Badboy. Watch The Dirty Dozen Streaming.
Mr. Badboy. Ethan tries to get the doll to perform, but all it can utter are guttural grunts, affirmations, and its name followed by the year. J/K, of course Slappy just smacks Britney in the head. Britney tries to escape Ethan's rough grasp of ventriloquy by fleeing to Molly's house, but her Mollytime is popped by her mother's insistence that Ethan come with.
In a rather convenient turn, Molly's dad "Wild Man" Molloy is revealed to be a globetrotting explorer who has a private doll museum in his attic. What, there was no room in his unmarked, windowless van? Wild Man stops Ethan and slowly fondles Slappy under his doll garments while uttering the word "interesting" no less than four times. In a scene right out of the Peter Finch storyline of Sunday Bloody Sunday, Slappy looks all too familiar to Wild Man, who quickly changes the subject and invites all of the kids up to the attic for more highly questionable adult behavior. Wild Man shows off his assorted weirdities to the kids, strange remnants of cultures long since gone: shrunken heads, animal skulls, XFL pennants, Zumba pants, Dunk- a- roos, & c. The aforementioned shrunken head is attached to a foot- long wooden body and Wild Man introduces the glass- encased doll as "The Mind Stealer," a forbidden object that promises doom to anyone who touches it. Abstinence- only sex ed has finally found its mascot!
Britney is terrified of the mind- stealing doll, but Wild Man assures her that it's safe behind "triple- thick glass." Britney then accidentally hits her head on the case, hears a buzzing in her ears and screams out. Oh no! My mind!". But hold the phone Frank Black, you're holding a phone and the buzz is a text message indicator.
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It's a rare non- sext warning her that dinner will be ready soon. At least, I think that's not sextual.. Back at home, Ethan puts on a "comedy" act involving Mr. Badboy that could very possibly be lifted verbatim from an earlier Slappy incarnation with only a few updated quips like "You don't look like Mischa Barton, you look like Mischa Fartin'," which sadly still proves the act to be a couple years behind the curve.
Britney attempts to finish taking her belongings out of her room but Ethan stops her when she tries to remove the poster for her favorite band, Skullboy. See, Skullboy is Mr. Brilliantlove Full Movie Part 1. Badboy's favorite band and he'll be upset if it goes. If Britney having the hots for Skullboy member Buzzy doesn't sound like a keen insight into the current preteen mindset, then maybe this revelation of Molly's hobbies will assuage all fears. She dreams up scenes on imaginary planets and paints them. Then she downloads photos of movie and music stars off the Internet. And she prints them out and adds them to her paintings.
I think Stine has once again mistaken a twelve- year- old girl with Robert Pollard. Add the subsequent revelation that the girls love to post on the online site Face. Place and you've got a book with its finger on the schmulse of youth. To the surprise of no one, Britney's Skullboy poster is subsequently torn up, presumably by Mr. Badboy. Ethan should have named the doll Mr. Manners and it'd have only made sure the poster was hanging level.
Robert A. J. Gagnon: Articles Available Online Robert A. J. Gagnon Home Articles Available Online Response to Book Reviews Material for "Two Views". THE APARTMENT by Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond THE APARTMENT A DESK COMPUTER A man's hand is punching out a series of figures on the keyboard. BUD (V.O.) On. Facts, information and articles about the life of Abraham Lincoln, 16th President Of the United States Abraham Lincoln Facts Born February 12, 1809, Hodgenville. Get the latest breaking news across the U.S. on ABCNews.com. So, as you may have heard, there's another Goosebumps series out there. Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in. Haha, just like the Godfather Part III.
Britney tries to get her parents to believe that it was the evil doll's doing, but they don't believe her.